Enjoy my humiliation. I do.
As a community artist, creatives, and others alike thrive on creativity in a hive mind like environment. We all want for the funny, the story, or what ever is being created to be its best. We all want the best for the product. However as individuals, creatives we are total capitalist! We want to succeed individually so we can further our own projects, products, and thus careers. It’s kind of a very intriguing — ugh I don’t know if you would call it phenomenon or not. We are a bunch of for profits operating in a industry revolving around story, and art integrity, and purists who all evolve and cultivate as this yingyang of entrepreneurial artisans capitalizing on prose and satire.
I wonder if the cognitive dissonance created by this, our culture in the creative buisness gives us a predisposition to emotional botheration, if that makes sense. Like do people who make a living mining out emotion and fleshing out story, baring our innards leave their/our paths to our hearts strings that much more trail blazed and as such easily traversed by emotional terror. Or, as I just realized, what I meant to say is are we just more sensitive.
As a comedian and a creative I think I have become desensitized to failure but as a kid with depression, anxiety, and Atelophobia I will never be unterrified of disappointment. I will never cease to strive off of the… Well not just the approval of others but the addiction of being able to affect other people via my art. I love being able to make people care and feel things. The easiest way for me to make you have the feels is to lacerate my shield of self hiding and let you into the danger of what is my core. Then hopefully we will have a great alignment of sentiments and in that moment you will say yes, I agree. In the same manner also if the sentiments do not mesh or match up that grifting will cause you to feel something. Either way the intention is for it to resonate as much as possible.
What was I talking about?
I think, if it’s possible the Internet makes this whole ordeal In today’s society that much worse. Meaning we figuratively drown in a wealth of readily accessible information whilst, yet starving for the wisdom we should be gaining and utilizing by rescuing ourselves from a drought of common sense.
Our society flourishes on self doubt. Oppressors, wether they be government, advertisers, or whatever they only succeed at what they do most by reigning over a group of self doubters. The greatest rebellion is one of confidence. Being a rebel does not mean you have to be a rioting libertine. You could just be a super good you, a confident you and that’s enough to with stand the ever flowing current of flow goers. It is harder to oppress someone who is standing against the flow and above it because they can see it. If you can see it, it is harder to be swayed by it. So be a rebel. To quote The Ambassadors, “So, all hail the underdogs. All hail the new kids. All hail the outlaws. Spielbergs and Kubricks.” Go be a rebel, have confidence in your self. Believe that which makes you unique, what gives you singularity and unlikeness is what could possibly make you a success in this what we call our world.
A smarter man once said, “To thine own self be true”. Later on history another said, “You do you”. I’m saying you do, or ugh be rather, the best you, then if and when you succeed or fail you can know that it wasn’t because of falsehood.
As alway I’d like to thank you for reading my nonsense. Please note it is very important to me that these entries just be a stream of consciousness and not a editorial so there is now editing done and I apologise for mistakes. I hope you got something out of it. If you hate what I wrote so much feel free to let me know at TheDepartmentOfComplaints@gmail.com
I am not a mental health professional if you do need or even feel like you need help please reach out to (212) 673-3000 a free hotline if you need to talk.
Sorry I’m not smarter.