Covering the spread

Covering the spread

   If you were hoping for sportsball talk… You know nothing about me. What I want to talk about today is relationship compatibility and personal value. Society uses a number of gauging and rating systems for such matters. Some use playing cards (“now there’s an ace or a royal flush”), some car manufacturers (“that guy/girl is an Aston Martin”), most commonly used it the number scale of one to ten (sometimes a perfect ten is referred to as a dime). 

   According to the unofficial rules of compatibility you should stay within one to two degrees of your own level. Meaning if you are a seven then you should strive to date or pursue no higher nine and no lower than a five (checked with my calculator to make sure my math was right ). It is implied that if you go higher than that you are doomed to fail, as they are too far out of your league as it were and if you go lower than that you are reaching too low and will be disappointed. I was informed that I was a strong two with a one point upgrade because I was such a nice guy and a gentlemen at age nineteen by a girl who was breaking up with me. To this day I still believe she overrated me. I also would like to take this time to go on a tangent about nice guys or the concept of being a nice guy. However that will be very long winded and we wouldn’t get back around to the point of this entry for awhile so I will write that later and put a link to it here.

   Covering the spread between your number or level and someone you are interested in on a much higher level or number is talked about in many different forums, books, movies and alike. In the film “She’s out of my league” the entire movie they debate the number system. In the movie “My best friend’s girl” they reference a new system they have come up with involving letters, which I still don’t totally understand. In the film “Titanic” DiCaprio’s character talks about a woman he knew and sketched who would Coke to the same bar every night wearing every piece of jewellery she owned hoping to attract a man.

   I wonder what exactly all goes into your number, level or rating? Is it just simply your looks? Physically are you in shape? Do you posses the qualities society deems as physically attractive? Do you have a pleasant personality? Good money, cars, a home? Are there corrections and alterations with each factor? Are you given a base value based solely on the “Cover of your book” (metaphorically speaking) and then you are deducted points for physical shortcomings and poor personality traits? Or given points for positive qualities?

   I know there are people out there who believe that you should never date somebody who is not as attractive as you are or more attractive than you are. I know People who believe you should only date someone who is more attractive than you if you have a good, healthy ego because if  you love yourself and believe you’re attractive- I envy you-, don’t believe that looks are very important,  don’t get paranoid and jealous easily then, then and only then should you do so.(he said wishing he could add another “then” some how to the last sentence) Personally I think each case is different and subject to its own merits. 

I think that the only reason you should be in a relationship with somebody is because you believe that you and your partner should be happy.

   And I don’t believe that you have be 100% compatible with somebody in order to have a happy and successful relationship with them. I feel like-I know we as Americans use the term or the phrase “I feel like” way too much however – I feel like if you truly care for somebody in a way that you can’t explain or put into words then you’re willing to work with their quirks, their idiosyncrasies and their flaws. 

   Of course that being said there is probably several areas that should be within the realm of close to being compatible. 1- One of those been faith and spirituality. Most of the time who we are as a person starts with our faith and our spirituality. If you have a belief system or or a foundation in something that is so important to you, you would want for that same foundation to be the same or similar in someone that you want to call your partner. 2- Intimacy. People differ on how comfortable they are with different levels of intimacy and it’s important that you and your partner are comfortable  with the level of intimacy that you share with each other. People have many different ways they choose to be intimate with another person and thus it’s important that both people in the relationship are open to communicating their likes and dislikes when it comes to such things. Ignorant discomfort can be the quickest and most unexpected death to another wise lovely relationship. 3- Life tempo and prioritisation. People live life at different speeds some people like to be fast and loud and constantly on the go and always experiencing new things constantly and living life like they shouldn’t sleep or rest until they are dead, (some people like to use way too many “and”s in a sentence) where as others choose to live a more relaxed and leisurely life taking time to enjoy each moment. There are also many levels inbetween or if you are as messed up as I am your both at the same time. It is important that you and your partner at least similar in this regard because making yourself live a certain way or at a certain speed always different priorities then are you home because you want to be with someone will ultimately make you very unhappy and possibly come to resent the person you’re in a relationship with. Then I’m sure there is probably much more and if I were more intelligent person I could think of them. But covering the spread could simply mean in some cases that you have to learn to accept your partner as they are and work with them in a way that keep you both happy. I fear and believe that I myself might be to screwed up, off centre, and flawed that I could never make anyone happy in all sincerity because it’s impossible for me to make myself happy first.

   I think that despite any kind of rating system and compatibility, if you find a partner who makes you happy and thus feel whole… Then together you are a ten. If their negatives get filled by your positives and Vice versa putting the two of you together like a puzzle creates a much more perfect being, if you will. Maybe you aren’t ready to meet that person yet. If that’s the case every morning you should try to do something your future partner will thank you for one day. But I’ve been wrong before… It was in the third grade. 

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you got something out of it. As always I am not a mental health professional by any means. Also I am not a relationship guru whatsoever. Should you desire to inform me of your opinion whether it be of a negative or positive connotation feel free to email me at TheDepartmentOfComplaints@Gmail.com . I am in the midst of finishing my first novel and you should look forward to hearing more about that at a later date. 
I am not a mental health professional if you do need or even feel like you need help please reach out to (212) 673-3000 a free hotline if you need to talk. 
   

The above is a picture of a very unhealthy dinner that was amazing! Buffalo wings and fried pickles but they were white dill spears not chips! This, except that horrible white substance they call ranch was eaten at

Dublin Street Pub

 1745 E University Ave

Las Cruces, New Mexico

 88001

United States

  
   
    

   

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Stupid time and your relativity 

Time is cray cray. I loath myself for writing that. But it’s true. It’s crazy how yesterday was just the day before and tomorrow will be here soon and right now is already gone. It’s too much for me to handle at times. I am constantly in a phobic state that I may miss something; an experience, a moment, anything… What if I miss something that I could use in something later on. What if I miss a experience that could fit perfectly into a pace of prose that would make it the most epic thing anyone has ever read, but now that I’ve missed it I’m doomed to be another storyteller screaming into the void, the despair pit, the nothingness… What if I suck st life now because I missed something yesterday or the day after I was born or anytime in between. 

   Relativity is unbelievably unascertained amoeba, it has nothing to do with anything and everything to do with everything! We could never measure anything if it weren’t for relativity. An inch is relative to a foot, and a millimetre to a meter and so on… With time relativity is everything. You hear all the time people say as you get older time goes by faster and that’s not a wise tale it’s come poetry true! Think of a three year old. If you were to tell a three year old that in just three years you will be six. (I double checked my math for this one) to that three year old three years is a long time, everything you know, the extent of your knowledge, experiences and your life itself  exist with in three years. It took you three years Now think of a sixty year old. Whom you tell in three years this will happen. They are going to think, “well heck that will be here before you know it” because you’ve experience three years twenty times in your life. Three years is nothing it’s one twentieth of everything you know! (Broke out the calculator for that one) so literally and figuratively three years goes by much faster to a sixty year old compared to a three year old, relatively speaking. Time is relative we wouldn’t be able to measure it out into units with out it. 

   Now how does this effect those with mental and emotional problems. Quite frankly in the worst of ways. For someone experiencing depression time almost stands still as you suffer. For some one experiencing anxiety and pressure time can’t go by faster as your panic burgeons exponentially to the point of an attack. 

    How do I avoid or deal with this?

I don’t know try to avoid and if you have to deal with it.  That is the absolute worst advice. Yep! You can’t control time. You can not manipulate it or traverse it. I know yesterday I threw an unannounced rager for time lords and other time travelers but no one showed. Today I let the world know! Time travelers are either assholes or don’t exist. know that time is out side of your control and all you can do is control what you do and how you feel about the time spent within that spand of time and redundancy. The time is yours do what makes you shoot during it. 

If you have the time and you are in Montanta City please go to  and get the Combination Plate of Gourmet Red BBO Chicken and Huckleberry Pork Ribs they’re amazing! 

4 Mt Hwy 518, Montana City, MT 59634

Thank you so much for reading I hope that you enjoyed it and possibly got something out of it. If you hated it and feel the need to express that disappointment feel free to email me at TheDepartmentOfComplaints@gmail.com . I’d like to thank and mention Hillary from New Zealand yes my complaints email is heavily inspired by JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series. If you like my writing, stand up set, or any other work feel free to let me know that as well it helps with Atelophobia. Also to answer a question I’ve gotten a lot no I don’t get endorsements or any kind of pay for plugin restaurants. 

I am not a mental health professional if you do need or even feel like you need help please reach out to (212) 673-3000 a free hotline if you need to talk. 

Love-

Noah

 
   

    

Shy Affection 

As always I am merely speaking from my experience and point of view and not of that of a professional by any means. But list are cool, right? Here’s is a list of signs that a shy guy or a guy with anxiety or depression might like you. 

First understand that shy does not always mean quiet and removed sometimes it just means they don’t like confrontation or making people feel uncomfortable so they choose not to express feelings or opinions of their own out of the that fear. 

1-

   Seemingly over appreciation and excitement from helping or being helped. If he or she appears to experience joy out of the opourtunity to help you (even if it’s just to borrow a pen), or say they express extreme apreciation for your help as if it means to the world to them, or you notice that they act or behave differently toward you in s manner that is slightly out of character for them(normally this is cognitive dissonance caused out of a war to remain introverted or not-awkward and an expression of affection) Sometimes closed off individuals will open up to people they like and are attracted to as a way of saying you are special to them because they trust you. If you notice this there is a chance that they care for you. 

2-

He shows interest in the things you like, do or talk about. A shy person wil hardly ever  steps outside their safe zone when it comes to participating in activities that may embarrass or put them on that spot. If he or she is willing to do these type of things with or around you,’you‘ may be the common variable. Granted some times interest align with others and it may be that you just like the same things. 

4-

If he or she’s communicates a great deal with you through devices of anonymity such as texting, social media (posting cute/funny videos on your wall…), the Internet… A shy, anxious, or self-concious person will often feel more safe and open to carry on dialogue with some one in an face less environment where if they are worried their last message might be to revealing they can quickly send a “JK” or “lol” to hide how they feel and avoid rejection.

5-

He or she gets teased by mutual friends when you are around. Some times mutual friends can pick up on signals you may be ignorant to. When this happens often they will tease and playfully taunt them. I can remember being at a college party that was at the house of a insanely beautiful girl I liked and still care for. Someone brought up the fact that I give really good massages and hand massages.”you should give her one.” Was repeated several times. One thing led to another and ended up sort of wrestling after which I became viciously aware of the appearance of the situation and became instantly self-conscious. I went out side to handle the pending self-deprecating anxiety attack. Like the wonderfully amazing person she is she came out side to comfort me. Something I will never forget. 

6- 

They treasure the similarities, inside jokes, and personal moments shared between the two of you. If they always get a smile and a better mood when the two of you share an inside joke or a memory from the past compared to the future memories… I’m an idiot. 

7-

If they seem interested but never “make a move” this may be out of a fear of rejection. Often time shy people will remain closed off and create shells of themselves they think others will accept and like. If you feel like someone likes you and you like them no matter the gender role be an adult and go talk to them about it. 

8-

This one might be just be me. But shy guys will steal glances when they think you and others aren’t looking. If he looks at you when you are not looking it doesn’t make them a stalker- ugh for sure. People look at things that they like or find pretty so if you catch some one doing this be polite and smile back.
As always I suck at math don’t judge me and  feel free to send hate mail or your appreciation I really like reading from people who get something good out of my work. The email is TheDepartmentOfComplaints@gmail.com .
Thanks for reading!

Love,

Noah

  
“RawR” means I love you in animal.
 

Life in Love 

Life in Love 

Standing on a soap box.

We accept the love we think we deserve or so they say.  Not entirely sure of the validity of that expression nor anything I have ever said for that matter. But I am an immensely self deprecating person as it is, so not to take some quarrel with what I say… myself  is understandable and taking what others say with several grains of salt is just as comprehensible. I’ve said it many times before that I truly believe I was put here to make others happy and that I my self was not meant to be happy. Accepting both of these truths allows me to work harder to serve the happiness of others which in turn does give me some resemblance of satisfactory beatitude. I feel like we as Americans use the expression, “I feel like” way too much  and no one really cares. I also feel like  my love for others and need to care for others leaves me with an ample amount of opportunity to be hurt and disheartened. One thing that I do enjoy is love. As redundant as it sounds I truly love to love. I’m pretty dang good at it. Showing someone that I care by putting their needs before mine quite frankly is very natural to me. I barely ever put anything of mine very high on any priority list. Loving just comes easy to me and with that comes all it’s negative side effects. I’m ever so thankful and grateful for those God has put in my life who love me. My friends and my family are sincerely not replaceable. I don’t believe I would still be here if it weren’t for them, in fact I know it. Do you ever wonder what the percentage of what we’ve gotten right in life is compared to the contrary. Honestly I suck at math but in my experience the ratio would be rather lopsided or improper if you will. (Can ratios be improper or is that just fractions?) the Greeks broke love down into three levels; Eros meaning passion and desire, Fileo meaning an appreciation and fondness for others and finally Agape or the strongest and unconditional love the type of love that you would be willing to die for.  It is very obvious that love is immensely important and plays a unavoidable role in all cultures; we find love discussed in and through out history in songs and stories of all kinds and from all times. The times we are in I believe have convoluted what love is. (I am not a woman and realise that I can not and do not speak for all women) I feel like some how for the past few generations ladies have been conditioned in some way into a understanding on some level whether   subconscious or not to accept what I deem as bad behaviour and/or bad manners as a sign of affection and adoration. I realise you would never get into what the Greeks would refer to as agape love when you first start dating someone, and I realise that the days of courting are long gone. However all that being said I think that the phenomenon aggressively perpetuates the whole “nice guys finish last” ugh thingy.  Now (beat) that being said I have a problem with that as well because while there are genuinely “nice” guys out there a portions of them are only nice to women in the hopes, intention and desire that they will allow them to have sex with them. If that is your intention then you are not a nice guy. That being said  (are you starting to notice a pattern?) nice guys are put in a position where the manners and good behaviour comes off as odd, weird, or awkward and I have said all that to say this, ‘I don’t like it’.  (Anticlimactic I know.)  but that’s who I am a person of such internal confusion half the time I don’t know what my point is or why I am so passionate about why the salt should be to the left of the pepper, I have to sit with my back to a wall in every restaurant and why no doggie should be homeless. I’m odd. I’m sad a great deal and I’m okay with it. I have a plethora of internal conflict so much so that the conflicting feels or emotions if you will result in a unpredictable set of plot points. There is a ying and yang inside of men wouldn’t with on anyone with desires and wishes that can never be met or answered because of mental and social downfalls and shortcomings. I am an improbable solution, a slut who is scared to go in for a first kiss and a person who can feel alone in a immensely crowded room. I don’t know what will happen to and for me from one moment to the next. All I know is that I am immensely envious of those who can just “be” happy when I have to work incredulously hard at it just to be ugh not sad. But I don’t plan on giving up in that fight any time soon. The greatest three things in the world are to find a way to make money at what you love, to love and to be loved. I guess in short I wish you a life of love in love weather that means putting your self out there to allow for something to happen or working on yourself. Try every morning to tell yourself that today I am going to do something that future Noah or insert your name rather, will thank you for.

I hope this was was helpful if wasnt and you feel the need to tell me how badly I suck at life you can always email me at TheDepartmentOfComplaints@gmail.com .

I am not a mental health professional if you do need or even feel like you need help please reach out to (212) 673-3000 a free hotline if you need to talk. 

Wishing you all the love-

Noah