I’m sitting here.

I’m sitting here at a booth in a sports bar, alone, on New Year’s Eve, wondering how I feel about my 2015. I reckon it wasn’t too grand considering I’m sitting here. Alas it wasn’t too bad considering I’m sitting here. Things could be worse, I could be dead or in major pain. Things could be better I could be on tour or getting the green light for one of my movies/series. But where does that leave me? Just blah?

Here I sit on the WRONG SIDE OF MY TWENTIES and part of me wants to breakdown and cry. Part of me wants laugh at my self. Most of me thinks I’m nuts. I’m just very self aware. I know that I can never be happy, but I know how to busy my self contentment. I know that I will probably die sad and alone, which I have come to terms with. I know that I will always be the friend or partner who tries the hardest and fails the most. I know that I am a good guy! I know I was given the worlds greatest family and equally wonderful friends. I know that I’m one of the best storytellers and that’s what I was put here to do. I know that it is not that bad. I know I’ve lived a pretty great life. I know that 2015 had its ups and downs.

I end 2015 with sentiment that I tried, I tried real hard. I didn’t accomplish much, but I learned a lot. I learned that my resilience and perseverance probably won’t ever waver. I learned that when I don’t pay attention I can let my emotions, disorders and mental deficiencies get the best of me. Course that I knew but I learned some new ways to navigate the tough times.

I’m not where I want to be. I’m not where I’m going to be.

I’m just sitting here.


As always I am not a mental health professional or a relationship specialist. These are simply my findings from life and my hope is that you can take something positive away from it or maybe a new point of view. If you hated it so much and you feel the need to let me know how awful it was or I am please feel free to email me at TheDepartmentOfComplaints@gmail.com
Keep in mind it is important to me that these entries be more of a stream of consciousness and not and editorial, as such no edits or corrections are ever made.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a wonderful new year-
Love,

Noah

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