I don’t do well with heartbreak and letting other people down. To me there is no worse or lower of a feeling. Atelophobia makes it that much worse for me. I have a constantly feeling that I’m a disappointing failure and a let down to for everyone who cares about me. I get disappointed in my self on a daily basis. I am easily excitable and get my hopes up for the improbable more often than not.
But how do you handle it?
1- Adulting is for the birds and children…
Let your irrational side have its go at expressing. It is going to happen and it is best to let it happen at a time where you are in control of the environment. If you are going to cry and wail, throw a temper tantrum, paint by tossing paint on a canvass, exercise, what ever it is you need to do, you need to do it. Children get over situational disappointment and upset by throwing temper tantrums and then they get over it. You need to let your inner child throw a tantrum so it can get over it and then so can you.
2- Pattern your self in getting over it.
This is fundamental (in my experience) to getting over disappointment. Humans are very habitual and as such we self condition our selves into what becomes our personalities, our idiosyncrasies and most importantly our superfluities. What you need to do (and again this is a lifestyle alteration which means it’s going to take a while) is pattern yourself into accepting disappointment for what it is… a disapointment not an emotionally, overwhelming ineluctable stopping point. When we condition ourselves to not deal with disapointment or deal with it in a unhealthy manner we set our selves up for failure and continued disapointment creating s vicious cycle of bad feels. Disapointment is a part of life and not instant death and as such it should be used as a learning and growing experience. Manage your emotions and don’t take it personally.
3- Self realization
The ability to self-reflect is (in my opinion) a great sign good mental health. Take some time to explore what is happening to you and how you expect to react. After learning enough about your self and your reactions to stimuli you learn to manage how you react to everything including disapointment and that is an amazing breakthrough. Talking to a therapist or an individual who really listens having your best interest and happiness at heart is wildly helpful. Sometimes just hearing you tell someone how you feel about it things is all you need to lock into self awareness. Know that grief comes in waves. The more cognizant you are of you and your situation the better you will handle it.
I hope this was was helpful if not and you feel the need to tell me how much of a disapointment I am you can always email me at TheDepartmentOfComplaints@gmail.com .
Love,
Noah